krisjener:

krisjener:

it’s coming to that time of year where sweater weather turns into sweaty weather

This is the wittiest thing I’ve ever said and I’m annoyed it has so few notes

darrenstummy:

the more sexual and inappropriate you are with me the better we’ll get along

(Source: darrenstummy-moved)


paintedmischief:

im so fucking done

(Source: aimemente)

clothobuerocracy:

sunshineface0014:

ridge:

it’s weird how people talk bad about strippers but no one says anything about the people who go to see them

!!!!!!!!!

Who’s worse? The woman who dances on a pole making $600 a day or the man stepping out on his wife and family to throw singles at a complete stranger?

sirdef:

sirdef:

sirdef:

i did that adult thing you can do where you buy an entire cake and just eat it

i am eating an entire cake

update: there is more cake than i imagined. 

i see now why my parents didn’t let me do this


rocksfalleveryonedies:

(Source: patrickmasturbateman)


drinkingtea-and-readingbooks:

simplydalektable:

surimistick:

at first i tought it was cappuccino

a catpuccino

a catpurrccino*

(Source: sasaq)

nerdfithers:

oneboredjeu:

nerdfithers:

nerdfithers:

i opened both my water and my electricity bills at once

needless to say i was shocked

get out

this is my post you get out

(Source: chronicallylate)

orlandobloomers:

aliceinthetempleofpearlgarden:

davegrohlgetinmybed:

theres nothing sexier than a guy playing guitar

a girl playing guitar

a tyrannosaurus rex playing guitar, struggling to strum with its tiny arms, fueled by rage and an inner desire to Rock

emporbooty:

gamblingemperor:

emporbooty:

gamblingemperor:

1324 FOLLOWERS IM LAUGHING SO HARD ITS IN ORDER

1324 is not in order Matt

ITS 2 AM AND IM NOT EVEN GOOD AT SCIENCE IN THE FIRST PLACE

Science

emkaymlp:

Life Tip: Don’t allow Tumblr to become your primary/only source for morality. Remember, this is the site which had many people genuinely believe that they can get unlimited chocolate just by slicing it a certain way. I know I certainly wouldn’t want these people dictating my worldview for me.

bobbyhorin:

when someone younger than you disrespects you

image